"Afterthought"

One of the many reasons I like to drive with myself is because I can be assured that my time behind the wheel will be virtually uninterrupted by another’s invasion of my bubble…

You can admit to me, that occasionally, you live in your bubble too.  We all do although “bubble” might not be a good fit for you.  How about “space” or “frame of mind” or “in my grill”?  It’s the immeasurable area you conduct your life within.  Different for everyone.  Introverts would have cavernous secluded spaces, extroverts…not so much.

My bubble extends to your border (or if I am driving) to the inside of the passenger door of the car and all the way to the rear window.  It was in this very private space that I had a moment’s glimpse of a peacock, accompanied by three peahens.  Not unusual at all, if I had been passing a zoo or in a middle-class neighborhood in Thailand (where they are kept as security because of their very vocal alerts).  This grouping was in parade behind a large Episcopalian church on The Gulf of Mexico which provides the southern coastline of this city.

The church, resplendent in its own right, neighbors a small boatyard and shanty.

The occupant of this shanty was enjoying their company and from what I could view, was providing them a late afternoon’s meal.

Hens scattered ahead while the male followed behind. I don’t know the dynamics of such a grouping of exotic fowl, I have rarely seen both hen and cock together.  Assuming that these birds were meant to be there, kept by someone, or rescued by someone, I was curious…why THERE? No trees, but plenty of sea oats and freshwater, fountains and tiered balconies and bell tower for them to roost.

I enjoyed the unexpected parade.  I was happy to have had a moment to appreciate them. But I wondered…

Does the peacock ever see his reflection?  Does he gaze at his own magnificence? Is he jealous of other peacocks, not realizing that his uniqueness and splendor is unmatched by another?

And then I thought…”ah-ha this is another message…a not so subtle one”.

At a time when my people my age (the post-baby boom, generation “x”) are experiencing myriad midlife crisis’, a renewed lack of self-esteem is encroaching on our collective been there, done that crowd.

My collection of been there done that, have the tee-shirt drawer cannot close with- out encouragement.  And yet, why am I still unfulfilled?  What’s missing? Am I not a bird of a different feather?

I am self-sufficient, educated, well-traveled, open-minded and clueless as to what comes next.  My external self is constantly under renovation, not for your approval, but for mine.  My internal self is on a quest, a journey.  The kind of journey which does not call for a multilingual guide, with pennant in hand, stating that the next exhibit is just around the corner.

What do I have to compare with the unequaled beauty of a peacock’s feather?

I have burgeoning creativity to share.  I have thought-provoking solutions to global problems that are birthed by nothing more than common sense.  My brain never shuts off or closes to possibilities.  It does, however, deflect the negative energies which are seemingly predominant in the news today.

The racing of my pulse is the impetus that signals approaching opportunities.

Maybe here, maybe not here but somewhere new or the places of my youth revisited because unfinished business waits for my return.

There is a reason why the peacock’s tail feathers were bestowed upon him as the focal point of his existence.  When engaged in the dance of life, his survival depends on them.  There was a reason, an evolutionary reason, that his plumage was not an afterthought.

He reminded me that my gifts are for sharing.  He reminded me that life is a parade and the attraction of the casual observer should be welcomed.  My journey is solitary, but should not be exclusive; for completeness is not achieved in solitude but rather when joined by another….

And destiny is the joining of one unexpected moment to another.