Holy Art Class

Just sat and grumbled at the canvas

which did not look like the reference I had selected.  It was just some horizontal mixing of colors with no form.  Could have sold the damn thing as is and titled it “Your guess is as good as mine”.

Now WHAT set me off? “Jesus in my art class” is what.

I agree with separation of church and state.  I agree with keeping religion Title reminds me of a television “Batman” rerun…something Boy Wonder would have said.  He would have been well within his script parameters had he been a student in my Prime Time for seniors art class.

It all started out well at the first meeting last week.  We have a small class and I am glad to have a low teacher/student ratio.  It’s a beginning acrylics class and some of us are truly beginners; this was painfully apparent when the subject of a color wheel was the topic of choice. Guess I am past beginning theory, but definitely a novice in the category of paint to canvas. Introductory round robin took the first 10 minutes of class and we soon settled into our roles of teacher and student.

I answered most of the questions correctly. Actually, I was the only other participant in the conversation with our instructor. Once the primary, secondary and tertiary colors had been identified and our color wheel completed, we all learned about the different brushes; practiced strokes with each one and then learned how to wash with color.  Each of us completed a small painting of fir trees at water’s edge on a clear blue day.  We were introduced to the technique of “Snowing” on the canvas by using thumb, index finger and toothbrush.  Some of us got more snow on our glasses than on the canvas….

Soon class was over with the homework of finding a sunset reference for next class. Everybody was to paint a sunset; should be fun, 10 different sunsets.  Class dismissed with 15 minutes to dump our water, wash our brushes, gather our recently purchased $100.00 inventory of just the necessities and clear out.

During the week, I practiced once for an hour or so at home and arrived with a smile and that “Look what I did” glow for lesson number two. Well, let’s be fair and state that part of that hour or so was just unpacking the paints and brushes and organizing the recently converted overnight bag into a recognizable artists tote.

The three rows of drop clothed tables welcomed us back and we set up in the same familiar spots. Not having to reintroduce ourselves was a good thing and easels and canvases, brushes and reference pictures were set out and we anxiously awaited the attention of our teacher to turn from more supply shopping to the topic today: sunsets.

I thought my practice sunset would eliminate a do over, but no such luck.  Good attempt, I was told…wonderful likeness…but I want you to USE the reference and not let the reference USE YOU she said.  What?

Next to me sits a woman from Nashville and she brought personal photos of our coastal sunset. I recognized the pier and prominent sago palm in the foreground.

She was considering which photo to select and took the opportunity to ask me my opinion. I agreed with her first choice and turned back to listen to the teacher, but Ms. Nashville had a second agenda.  “Look at this picture, what do you see there in the clouds”? I said “Oh, it could be the silhouette of a man, how interesting”.  She said that the photo had been the subject of another man who happened to be taking pictures at the same spot and she asked him for a copy. 

“It’s Christ with the crown of thorns. Can’t YOU SEE that? Look closely…see, sEE SEE???”  I replied, “Oooh, that gives me the hee bee jee bees”. She didn’t say another word.

Back to art class…learning to use a solid color wash (must be the dominant color), then white dressmakers chalk to trace the horizon and highlight the outlines of nature in the foreground.  Then, learn to paint over in layer upon layer until the final rendering appears to have a three dimensional quality.

During this process, which became frustrating because I lost the guidelines of the chalk under succeeding layers, the woman to my left kept saying “PrAZE be…lordy, lordy”.

I just lost it, threw in the proverbial towel, and took a self- imposed time out.  out of the public schools.  Recently, I have become aware of the things that go bump in the night and they have nothing to do with religion.

I don’t want you to bless my canvas, sprinkle my paint with holy water or offer last rights to my perceived masterpiece.  I don’t welcome your invasion of religious bigotry in my space.

You may not have the confidence to venture on your own artistic endeavors and may need tethering to a higher power.  For me, I am complete and confident and have guidance that does not require the relinquishment of power to another entity.  I am in this class for self-improvement not as testimony that I must ingratiate myself for becoming who I am.

Leave your inadequacies at home and join your soul with mine for we are capable of artistic impression. It is in our DNA. Period.