Time does not encourage us to loosen our dependency on grief. The grieving process is unique to each person. Some cling to loss as validation of having mattered. Some discard it altogether, believing that everything is impermanent.
I fall somewhere in the middle and mourn until the spirit releases me. I get the sense that something gloriously transformative has happened. I get messages that encourage me to fill the void. I dream of my life incomplete. Not liking the emptiness to take residence, I begin again.
When faced with the choice of less OR more and eliminating the less IS more theory, I choose to reduce my options into mathematical perspective and usually find the perfect answer ie: equal to or greater than. Sometimes it's a matter of quality other times it's pure quantity. The equation is flexible in interpretation. (My own version of quantitative theory).
This morning is day three of my life with two rescued dogs. That makes 5, in my house, which is my favorite prime number. It's an "odd" number, asymmetrical and reflective of my basic life's philosophy. Everything and every one is unique. Life is better when nothing matches. The journey is far more rewarding if the path is not level and the incline leaves you breathless. When you get to the edge of the cliff-take flight.
I love that I know this.
My two newest family companions are confused and grateful. So am I. They are trusting that their lives will complement mine. So do I. They accept and do not judge their circumstance.
So must I.
I will reflect on this perfect moment when the stars beckon my reverent gaze. I know the messenger well, she left me a few weeks ago. She entrusts these dogs to my heart. The pain is exquisite and the give and take will never end. I will always welcome gifts bestowed by the universe. It is far wiser
and a much better judge of character.
As for now, it's time for lunch and then maybe a walk or perhaps a couple. Everyone needs a little one on one.
I am full, again.
