Complacency

Status Quo is leaving things as they are- no disruption or deviance. I come from this generation.  I am among those baby boomers who are dipping into the last available social security funds.  My appointment, at the Social Security Office is next month and it will be at that appointment that I will learn what it means to have squandered most of my earning potential on ...well ...complacency.

There is an omission in my gray matter. Not knowing which hemisphere is deficient, I'll just blame it
on short sightedness.  Don't get me wrong. I have stuff, which in it's vagueness, represents my status.
Okay, but that's a facet which when not in the bright light fades into obscurity and I am left with
"but WHO am I?

At this juncture, ego reenters the picture. Only on its rebound, the focus is on my legacy. What will I
leave behind?  Ashes and carbon footprint will not define me.  Words on a headstone will be wasted for no one has the right to limit me to a few well chosen adjectives.  Enter- the universe and suddenly
it is the defining moment of ME.  Primed for nothing and equally unprepared, my decades cocooning
are ripe for evolution. My wings are unfolding and prepared for flight.  Albeit the remaining
life span will conclude before I fully understand how I got to this point, I am steady upon the breeze.

Learning to embrace a new direction is not unfamiliar.  I am certainly adept at change; although
change has always been tethered to what I understood was humanly possible. What I am gifted now is far beyond scientific probabilities.

As I undergo this metamorphosis, the pages in scrapbooks, entries in journals and yellowing photographs will seem a ridiculous homage.  Yet, separately the tangible remembrances
will document my journey thus far.

Restless intuition sits uncomfortably in my gut. Wasted adrenaline consumes the energy reserves and leaves me in a constant state of atrophy.  All this is necessary.  Decomposition begins.

Threshold of Tradition

I like the word "threshold".  It's the perfect visual introduction to this story.  Being a published poet, blogger, painter and pianist, I am always stepping through my comfort zone and trying something new. This time the something new is ages old.

Beyond the five senses there is a sixth-intuition.  The debate surrounding it is familiar to most and is victim to religious interpretation. I have come to understand that the intuitive realm is the conduit
to universal wisdom and I'm standing in the shadow of the door frame.

Why I am here now is obvious.  I am in denial of the me I know and the me you suspect you know.
Holiday traditions are waning only to remain in the conscious memory of who I was.  I am beginning to hate the contradictions between my inside self and outside self.  The pretense must give way
to a life of purpose.

For me, the holiday traditions were never a perfect fit.  I understood the fairy tale quality of them at a very young age.  Guessing that the ebb and flow of family gatherings relied heavily on the elders of my family, it was a natural progression right out of the obligatory celebrations when I was a single woman, void of responsibilities.

Crossing my path, again when I married and raised my family, those traditions resurfaced. Another generation indoctrinated. But I didn't know then what I know now.

That gut feeling is tied to survival. Survival in the communal sense of belonging and deciding whether I want to continue to belong to what is familiar.  I don't think so. My journey has been redefined. I have questions. What if the individual is just the messenger? What if pre-destiny interrupts one's purpose? What if that little voice is tied to the infinite universal voice? Do I listen?

Free will and the reincarnate soul. Trusting that the convergence of messages will direct me,
I will continue to do and be who I thought I was to a lesser degree and meditate and network with those who are like minded.

My future is not here- which is not surprising; my past wasn't here either.

Star Power

My recently published book, "You Know Me and You Don't-Poems From a Random Life", leave both the author and the reader with an open ended question: what's next?

I thought, "another book".  I hope the reader thought. Period. Poetry allows latitude.  In a free verse format, the stanzas and verses flow.  It's a perfect venue for my word work. I flow, I vacillate through the moments of my life; thankful for unlimited rebirthing of my soul.

Validation, through the printed page is the catalyst which allows for the continuous out pouring as I journey on this plane. That is about to change.

Knowing oneself takes a life time.  I believe intuitive knowledge is the sixth sense which balances
purpose with existence.  The five senses can be relied on for pleasure and protection of the physical
being. I want more.

Religion is control. Spirituality is a quest. Secularism is the path I choose. The universe can not be defined on my terms. It is not finite and my journey is transient. Thankfully, I am open minded living among those who are not which challenges me-constantly.

Shamans and light keepers are my source to truth.  I am grateful to my intuitive voice and the messages of clarity. I am at the threshold of the new. The old no longer serves me.

I begin again.