On my mind today is the consistently aggravating choice of free will. Mankind chooses his burdens. Burdens can bloom; they can overwhelm and become the masks we wear. How is it that truth is so easily disguised?
I strive to live a life which questions everything. I take nothing for granted and have not struggled much. I am wandering and not lost.
For some, scapegoats are an integral release of conscience. These are learned coping mechanisms.
We all learn to blame others from very early on. I think it may be time to rethink this strategy.
Why can't reality exist separately rather than co-exist with illusion?
Heavily indoctrinated in the theory of evolution and it's evolving thesis', I want for nothing more than
today. But there is conflict within me. Who I am is unfinished. What I am is a simple bridge to what is to be. I know this and nothing else can weigh as heavily as this burden.
Intuition guides my dreams. My waking hours are filled with apprehension. Being present in the moment is not easy. I marvel at those people who can quiet themselves to all that surrounds and infuses the soul. I'm not wired that way. I have a short attention span and get lost in the details of my life. Perfection is unattainable and I should stop trying and just let it be. I won't be remembered for the incompleteness of my journey. Who would hold it against me? No one is equal to the path I am on. It is mine through all time.
The what if's which comprise my life's story are autobiographical. To some extent, I am being allowed to choose; to opt-in or opt-out. Free will is the migraine clouding my destiny. It is an uncomfortable companion with whom I must travel. It is the self shadow; always between me
and authenticity.
The surrender is inevitable and beautiful in all its mystery. I'm just not willing-yet. Being
fluid and eternal, my soul will wait upon destiny which is greater than the burden which I perceive
is mine.
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