Release

Release

There is inherent danger under my skin and I am conflicted. Knowing full well its release will scar me with an emptiness (the likes I have yet to experience), I am reluctant.  The inside of me has multiplied into razor sharp facets. I am not who I was.
     Redefining my journey has changed my historical perspective of me. Memories have shape shifted
to fit the mature adult. Childhood memories have been reworked and replayed within the arena of
experience. I better understand the part I played as I am no longer burdened by the innocence of youth.
     Am I ready to acknowledge that I dreamt too deeply and too desperately? Shall I let go of the
affirmation that I lived a life designed by others; to complete their dreams? If this is my truth and
the release of it destroys my earthly shackles, where shall I go? But then, where have I been?
     All I do know is that I am tired - and it's taking a toll and I'm running out of quarters. Understanding that this state of being is manifesting itself in both my dreams and consciousness,
makes me fearful.
     Change is coming. My spirit animal totems present themselves and I am fully aware they are here.
My guides have prepared these days for an awakening. I am not in control. The lesson is choice. The choice is discernment.
     I don't even know myself well enough to risk letting go. I can't be finished.
Perhaps I'll just bleed out; allowing the blood to erode and soften the sharp angles. Perhaps emptiness
will not scar me after all.