My BFF replied, "Tomorrow is another day". That was her way of acknowledging the chaotic day I had had and that when I awakened, it would have ceased. Time to begin again.
Begin again? But wait, I failed at yesterday. Nothing was accomplished. Or was it? My response (which was delayed until that new day's dawning) was "So glad today is not a continuation of yesterday".
Since when have my days become compartmentalized? Since when?
My to-do list has taken on a life of its own. The burden of being me is overwhelming. This new self-definition has crappy timing.
Now that I have opened myself to a metaphysical way of thinking, the universe has taken control.
It just came in and stayed; filling all the voids I used to enjoy. The voids of doing nothing.
The choice of doing nothing; nothing beneficial, nothing creative, nothing productive, meditative, healthful, ego filling nothing.
I am consumed with my soul's housekeeping. No more secrets, my insides have been hung out to dry in front of the world. My cleaned, folded and put away emotional laundry is filling the clotheslines to capacity.
Why now?
The reincarnate process has begun and I'm still not finished with the present version. Nothing has prepared me for this. Didn't anticipate THIS! Thought that it (reincarnation) was not a task meant for human endeavors. Well, it's not the first time I have bumbled. But it is the first time I have come face to face with me and all I used to be.
Messages have been received and I am processing them. I am analyzing them. I am trying to incorporate them within my list of things to do. You have one. Everyone has one. Caution: the list of things to do and "bucket list' are not the same. They are parallel tasks; not always on the same plane of life.
Dreams are messages. Dreams have interpretations. Interpretations are varied and seem to fit whatever mood I am in. Still, they come, vivid and unrelenting. I must chronicle them, I must study them in order to separate the urgent from the I'll get to it later categories.
Recently, speeding cars wherein I am always the passenger has been the theme. Going forward towards crashing, in reverse towards oblivion. They keep me prisoner in that deepest state of sleep.
I can not immediately awaken,..trance-like…slow to dismiss them; sometimes details remain until the first light. Duty and destiny are converging, becoming interlocked and inseparable. I can hardly pause to catch my breath. The straight and narrow path has hurdles. Who knew?
Messages come through my intuitive counselors. I have several…hoping to discredit one, hedging my bets for I am capricious and can not always discern truth. Doesn't matter, all the messages are the same, the source is constant although I have not inquired as to "who"? Consistent and relentless they come in fractured unison.
My turn to choose. Do I take that leap from safe and predictable to kismet? All I can do today is wonder. All I can do today is to prepare…think I'll sleep on it and let you know in the morning; after all tomorrow is another day.
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